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fallenangel
02 April 2010 @ 11:11 pm

I must be getting something or did I fall and hit my head with a rock? oh, no! Is not a rock is just love. I’m disappointed with myself, how can I be falling in love with the same person who once broke my heart?

 Last Saturday he (Luis) invited Jessica, Junior, Rocio and me to eat dinner at Miami Beach; the sky was gray, and the wind was blowing cold icy air. We ate normal; I ate  half of my sandwich, Jessica and I ate half of our sandwiches and Rocio took not even a bite from her plate, the boys ate like there's no tomorrow.

The boys paid the bill of course they invited, we eat and they pay. I wasn’t comfortable with them paying for me but then again  I didn’t care,  the five of us walked through the beach, I was disoriented and the cool breeze was clearing my thoughts and whispering; “hold your desire”. I was very close to him, I could have easily touch his hand, I was very nervous at this. We sat on that nasty sand then something happened, my eyes started to tear up,  Junior noticed and asked Luis to come close to me and warm me up  a little bit but as usual he refused! And "What an asshole", I thought. Their chat was extremely boring and Luis as always was pissed off ; I noticed his bad mood and went to his side, he immediately gave half a smile and started smoothing my back like a wrinkled shirt. My stomach was yelling and my heart beating so fast that I was motionless. He was feeling the same I guess because he stood up and went to the shore all alone “to feel the water” but in reality it was “to think about he was feeling” then the hours went by so fast and we finally left. But he wanted to talk so he only said to me to follow him and I did. when I turned around we were totally alone, we talked about his problems, and my problems,  then he was like wishing for something to happen and so was I. I hugged him I couldn’t control my desires and he asked me why I was hugging him, I just told him he was needing one, I lied, I was the one who was needing one, then he bit me in the ear! so that was his desire….

 He was feeling much cheerful with me at his side. And a question pops up at once, the famous ' what if ' ? What if we get back together? That won’t happen; not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Disappointment and sadness are in the past and... love, love will come with a new face; I hope…

 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Always attract by you me at six
 
 
fallenangel
14 March 2010 @ 06:11 pm
Once again I got hurt, I feel bad. I met this Jimmy in the internet; not once but twice, his girlfriend insult me about trying to stole his boyfriend, we only talk, what is wrong with that? We don't know each other, we haven't even met in person.I said to him that we are only going to be friends, we send each other e-mails and that is all. I deleted him again! his is insane, he has a very controlling girlfriend, he most know that, and she checks all his e-mails, what that fuck!? I don't even give my email to my parents lol she has to change because acting like that, the only thing she is receiving are lies, abandonment, mistrust, and forget about love...

But well I can't tell her that because I'm the one that wants her boyfriend LOL! I don't have such an awful taste in men! I can only lough because I've shed so many tears already and besides that isn't my problem, He said this "A cutey like you can't like a ugly man like myself" well I never told him the contrary  and I never admitted his ugliness so perhaps he thought well her silent said everything. That is what I think, he is a nice guy, but is hard to trust him. So I deleted him once again and this is for good!


Please girls don't you ever talk to a guy who has a girlfriend because is a pain in the ass, and more if she is a jealous person...


Peace!
 
 
Current Location: My livingroom
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: That's what you get- Paramore
 
 
fallenangel
13 March 2010 @ 06:05 pm

Today (Yesterday) I encounter myself with no internet, outside is windy, clouded and gray a perfect day to read and write with a cup of tea. I started to read The Ice Queen, yesterday I finish reading The Third Angel of the same author, Alice Hoffman, I adore that author she is very talented, and she narrates every single story as if she was in there, you actually can transport yourself into the story and feel what that character is feeling at that specific moment. Do you know that you can read forward and backward The third angel book, its amazing !

I have been told about Love, some tell me that is a rational act others said it isn’t, I’m a believer, and I felt love, I’m felling love through my friends and family but that kind of love is different, is a unconditional love. I want to believe that my true love, the other half is out there, lost and I have to find it to be able to rescue it. As myself I'm lost and I want to be found.

My actual life is hard and no one understands me, my problems it doesn’t seem big enough but to me and my family is. That is why I’m behind a book most of the time, I’m a reader, and I like to transport myself where love is every where, and love story are infinite, where wonderland are possible to exist, and sorrows is a passage bridge.

In my background desktop is a bridge with a girl that it can be me any time, but my knowledge or my personal fears, and mistakes I’m afraid to pass over, but I’m trying and with persistent attitude and faith everything is possible, every tickle star can be change and conquer.

I’m a constant thinker, an observer and I like to rock and roll a simple, ordinary girl. My real me, behind a book I’m so far away that no one is able to find me and my castle can be never be destroyed. 

 How many books I've  read this week? 2 so far, in the month approximated 10 to 20 books.


 

 
 
Current Location: My livingroom
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Jordan Spark-One step at a time
 
 
fallenangel
13 February 2010 @ 10:14 pm

It was a long since I didn’t post anything, so I thought well friendship and love day is around the corner why don’t post something about friendship since its been awhile that love has change his face. So here is something:

I went trough emotional breakout, faith loosing, not trusting, searching for something that today, I’m still searching for it. When my ex left me I felt a hole in my chest that something was missing, now I’m feeling relief, content, but not happy at all. My friends are great, they give me my space, but when I need them they are surely there,  I’m always connected in the internet because I know they are too, if I need something I only text them, it is weird because none of us call each other, we are text girls as I called it. A friend of mine said, "why you still with them"?, they are bored people, they aren’t ALWAYS there, and I told him: “They are MY friends, who else am I get, you perhaps, you are never there for me, yes sure, you call me from there to there, but when I feel lonely who come to my house to hang out?” he didn’t answer because deep inside he knows I’m right, but he wont tell me that I’m right, he is so proud, he will die first. So how and where  do I known them?: I have 4 amazing friends, each one have a different personality. 1st Giessel: I know here since 8 grade, we had all the same classes and she was like my guardian, because I was new and shy so she offered me friendship, the most precious thing that anyone can offered you for free. She likes pop music, not my taste anymore, she adore his little brother, I never see that love before, I’m sure; she like Argentinean novellas, that is something that perhaps may have in common. 2nd Vanessa:  I meet her in 11 grade in Italian class, I was reading an awful, and disliking book by the way, I was lonely  and I wasn't very   social, I was following the instruction what the Italian teacher said, and when the teacher say, free time 5 minute remains until the ring bell, I always thought, now what I do? But a normal and common day, I sat, take my books, and as always read before the ring bell, a hear voices behind me, that they are laughing at me, don’t remember exactly what they said because those thing are things to forget; a soft and female voice approach to me, and offered me friendship, I took it as it was the last oxygen in earth.  We are so unlike, she like hip-hop, pop, rap, she has suffered a lot in her past and still battling now, I told her “family is family, like it or not”.  3rd Denisse:  we start bad, I didn’t like her much, she was the weird with the awesome hair lol - si Denisse te invidiaba el cabello, she like love rock, and soft metal I think…., fairies, and all magical not real thing, videos, and Oh no, they didn’t  XD, aragana como ella misma, don’t see a equal but we 4 made it through high school together, and I may not know each one of them like my back of my palm or sheared secret often, but we are what we are, and we love each other as we are, each one of us differently and unique. But you said 4, oh yeah!......the guy that most not be named lol my ex: we become bf/gf in the last year of high school, I was feeling more than friendship, I told him, well Vane basically told him, he froze, didn’t believe his ears or something, he ask me out as a girlfriend like two time, he was sweet then bitter, and without making this writing more long as it is, we brake up, we suffered, and finally we stay as friends, “My friend” a long story; Therefore, we called each other when each other remember or can, he usually does, I’m the one don’t like much calling stuff.  We sheared family and personal secret that is why “bring your friend closer but you enemy more close than before” and he is the only and my mom obviously that knows me very well, and Denisse you are getting close! But in summary of all things I told, I have the most tolerable, understanding, amazing, great, beautiful, sincere Friends that I’m not changing and don’t letting  you getting them for free, if you mess with them you are missing with me, too!!!.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are”

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY !! HAPPY VALENTINE DAY EVERYONE!!


PS: Denisse if you see any horror grammar, lol let me know so I can fix it. Thanks ! love you girls...!!

 
 
Current Location: my living room
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Paramore- The Only Exception
 
 
fallenangel
13 November 2009 @ 03:22 pm
WHAT IF:

1. I died:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. You found out i was married:
5. I stole something:
6. I was hospitalized:
7. I refused to leave my home:
8. I got into a fight while you were there:


WOULD YOU:

13. Help me hide a body?
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?
15. Hold my hand?
16. Take a bullet for me?
17. Try to solve my problems?
18. Love me?
19. Date me?

HAVE YOU EVER:

20. Lied to make me feel better?
21. Wanted to kiss me?
22. Wanted to kill me?
23. Broke my heart?
24. Kept something important from me?

AND MORE:

25. Who are you?
26. Are we friends?
27. When and how did we meet?
28. Describe me in three words?
29. What was your first impression?
30. Do you still think that way about me now?
31. What reminds you of me?
32. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
33. How well do you know me?
34. When's the last time you saw me?
35. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
36. Are you gonna repost this to see what I say about you?
 
 
Current Location: living room
Current Music: the only exception by Paramore
 
 
 
fallenangel
02 September 2009 @ 06:02 pm

 

Like a promise To Denisse (here is some of the answer to the Quizzes)

 

I took several quizzes, most of them are about book, cause I love to read, and some others are about movies that I should know like: twilight, Harry Potter, etc I read all Stephanie Mayer saga books, and Ok, I admitted, I don’t remember some stuff.

 

Like hair style- Brunette (You are the genius of the group? (NO I’M NOT, I ALWAYS DEPENDING ON OTHERS) You always get what you want whether the people providing whatever it are realizing it or not. (SOMETIMES) You love to read (Duh) and gain knowledge. You don't normally enjoy sports (I like sport) or physical workouts (I do exercise but not every day), but you put up with them anyway (ha!), for it's all in your plan. You are the one people come to for advice (yeah, sometimes), for they see you as a leader, even though you don't qualify for the role. (That’s right!)

 

- That doesn’t count because I’m already a Brunette.

 

Cartoon character- Bubbles (You are Bubbles. You are shy but fierce (FIERCE?). You stand for what you believe in (YEAH!). You like blue (NO! I like purple) and most people like to be around you) I, guess so.

 

- I like bubbles, but I don’t think I will be it.

 

Movie/book character (Twilight) - Bella Swan (You are sometimes quiet, (most of the time) self-conscious, (hum...) and a bit tomboyish, (NO!) but you are very pretty.) YES, I’m


- That is ridiculous I hate her character, is too sensitive… 

 

Song theme- "What I've done" by Linking Park

You are emotional. You get sad often, and let your emotions take over what you do. You prefer songs that tell you a story, and show things to you differently.

 

I don’t like much Linking Park but there is true what it said…

 

Potter quiz is said I’m potter maniac...if doesn’t say that, I will sue who ever owned quizzilla lol
and Twiling it said I don't know much...but I love the books  ...lol

 

What Harry potter character are you- Hermione Granger
You are smart and caring. You can get very emotional and you care about your friend’s a lot. You are organized and always have a plan. (I thought I will be, Luna Lovehood but no, well...)

 

Which Character in a Book would you be- You are a guide! You are the person who tells the main character a riddle or a prophecy. Some times known as a crazed person, you know every thing that goes on and you don't tell the main character until "the time is right"

 

- I did this random cause I always wanted to know, but I don’t want to be fu #@ Guide!!

And guess what movie best discribe me...- Princes Protection Program (Disney channel movie)...lol

 


 

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Current Location: my living room
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Paramore- We are broken
 
 
fallenangel
31 August 2009 @ 03:02 pm

Did you ever got a love note or a letter?, just when you not expected it will found you, just you have to do is stop searching for it.

 

Dear…..:

 

When I speak  and gaze into your eyes, I’m swept away. When I’m around your beauty it’s melts my heart away into a world where one day I hope to be with you and only you. When I’m around you I try to be funny but I can’t, no matter how hard I try cause you are not like any girl I have ever met. My brains feel like it has stop and drifted away into another world, where it may never be found. Why , I don’t know but my heart scream out to ask you out but the words just won’t come out, it feels like a wonderful dream, it is to be staring and gazing at a girl like you. I never know what to say the words never come out, dare I scream and shout?, cause you are so special to me, my heart feels like I have die and gone to heaven, calling tears from deep inside your so exquisite,___________________, with these words I share with you my love, my sorrow and all the feelings I have inside for you.

 

- Jaime

 

(It appears that he didn’t know my name and the blank is something that he erase, the actual paper that was written on is all mess up, and the words it would disappear over time because it was written by pencil) it had been 6 years already and I never knew who he was.

 
 
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Mood: okayokay
 
 
fallenangel
22 August 2009 @ 07:09 pm

 

 

I was barely asleep; I can see the tiny light of my room shining in the dark, with my subconscious still wondering I start making poems with no topic at all, I was surprise.

One start: Do you love me?

 

 How fresh and easy it sounds,

 But not everyone can be fooled,

 By the look in your eyes

 

Do you love me?

 

 How simple and hard it is

 Your heart has melted and

 You start wondering.

 

Do I love her?

 

With tears in her eyes staring

At his how lost and deep

They were, she knew.

 

But she has to know, she repeated;

“Do you love me, my love?”

He stood in silence, and

With a whispered he said “no.”

 

This is not what it suppose to end, he must say yes, but it was just a dream and I made up these while I was dreaming, saying this at nobody, covering my own tears as if there was somebody watching me.

It comes to my mind a pair of greenish eyes, deep beautiful green eyes.

Second one start: Beautiful Eyes

 

At the light of the moonlight

I saw your eyes, how strange

They were those Beautiful Eyes.

 

It came into my mind,

Without any feeling of surprise,

When I thought about those

Beautiful green eyes.

 

You came and left

That night, as I started

As I thought of who you were,

You banished without advise.

 

How dare you leaving me

Here alone, and never seeing

You again, those Beautiful Green Eyes.

 

.

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Current Location: my living room
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Paramore- Never let this go
 
 
fallenangel
09 August 2009 @ 07:01 pm

Como duele tu mirada en mi piel,

Como duele tu risa que ya no es mía,

Como duele las heridas encontradas,

Y la caricia perdida.

 

Como duele mirarte por que se que ya no eres mío,

Como duele el olvido y las guerra de suspiro,

Como duele recordarte cada ves que te miro,

Y dejarte ir sabiendo que eres distinto.

 

¡Hay Dios!

 

Como duele no poder probar tus labios,

Y sabiendo que están sin dueño,

Pero que dulce es el saber que sigues estando a mi lado sin saber por cuanto tiempo.

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Current Mood: confusedconfused
 
 
fallenangel
09 August 2009 @ 06:26 pm


La gota de cielo infinito me hace recordar a mi llanto,

Confundido, cesante, pausado, fuerte de un día nublado;

Mi latente corazón que en puras cenizas permaneció y

Un amargo adiós que en mi garganta saboreo,

Al pasar de los días la única acompañante es mi dolor.

 

Las peleas distinta, celos, confusiones, rechazo, engaños

Que el mismo cielo se abriría para dividirnos si fuera necesario,

Cupido se morirá de pena, al vernos separado,

Pero que tan lindo seria un amor puro sin maltrato alguno.

 

Para bien o para mal nos decimos adiós, nuestros corazones

Aun intacto, el ultimo beso sin secar, el roce de tu almohada

Sin acariciar, no ha pasado mucho tiempo y te sigo recordando

Añorando como si fuéramos al vernos algún día al pasar.

 

Como hago dime para odiarte si no quiero, si cada rincón de mi mente

Olvídate no puedo, y al susurrar tu nombre mis labios tiemblan,

Mi corazón a tu lado se encuentra hasta el día que te olvide,

Pero sueños son al fin y no se liberan.

 

En mi cabeza  mil ideas revolotean y cae en el mismo sitio,

A donde solo tu me encuentras, me e dicho de todo para

Olvidarte al fin, pero aquí me tienes sufriendo por que

Estoy sin ti.

 

Noches sin dormir, lágrimas sin secar,  mi corazón sin amar

Yo sigo sin ti.... y creo que así se quedara.
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Current Mood: crappycrappy